Friday, April 3, 2009

the anatomy of leaving

Recently, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I just got back from Belize, where I spent over a week with 28 of the most incredible people I know. There were some big thoughts in my head, and being able to discuss them with some truly caring and smart people was exactly what I needed. Now, I'm starting to think more and more about graduation, and what comes after, and I used to think I had it all figured out. If you asked me a month ago where I would be in September, I would have told you about Seattle and the two job opportunitiesthere. As May 8th approaches more and more rapidly, I'm starting to question if those will work out. Many more conversations need to be had before I can make the decision to leave, although I thought it was the only thing I was sure of. But most importantly, only recently have I begun to think I would be okay staying in Boulder.

The word staying makes me itch a little. With so many options ahead of me, why would I choose to stay? With the rest of the world to discover, why would I spend the next few years exactly where I've been? The truth is, I know I'll come back to Colorado, and probably even Boulder. I'm not sure if I'd survive anywhere else. And since I am falling more and more in love with Boulder, should I even bother leaving?

Now, I have to think about the reasons I want to move. Am I craving new surroundings simply because I am craving newness? Or do I really want to leave? Will finishing school, beginning a career, saying goodbye to some friends and starting another chapter in my life be newness enough? Or will I forever be wondering, what if? And what's wrong with moving anyway, even if it might be for no reason other than I have also fallen in love with Seattle?

So if anyone has ever left simply for the sake of leaving, or stayed just to stay, let me know. I could use some advice.


  1. I've been going thru the same problem. Stay in NYC (where I'm comfortable and could do for the rest of my life) or move onto something else, something challenging, something unplanned? Besides the fact I'll take any job I get right now, I feel like it's time for me to move on from NYC for now just because I know being in a new environment is the best way to experience something and know if you really want it. We're still young and it's best to experience things now instead of just staying in our comfort zone forever. Society has made it easy for people like us to have a comfort zone, but once you get out of it and struggle is when you really experience life.

  2. I moved to San Clemente from Ellensburg and decided to come back. Before I left I knew I loved Ellensburg, but I was completely tired of Ellensburg. Getting away was a super fun experience. I learned to surf, and that I can make friends anywhere. Coming back though, I have a completely new perspective on my purpose in Ellensburg and have been blessed beyond belief. I'm super glad I moved, in the future I'll just take a vacation though. You won't be dissapointed if you move, you can always go back.